FICTIONAL sparkly pansy vampire whose only purpose of being is to drop the panties of any girl dumb enough to actually think this fuck is romantic and sexy.
He is adored by teenage girls and Catholic priests alike, and is so ‘perfect’ in every way that he actually shits flowers.
A psycho who goes into girls bedrooms to watch them sleep. May or may not sparkle.
Often the focus of female teenage trend-follower’s wet dreams. How can they not? I mean… he goes into the sun and… SPARKLES! “Yum?”
He is a Meyerpire, a being that suffers from a psychosis leading him to believe he is a ‘vampire’.
Every boyfriend’s nightmare.